01 May 2006
So I was at my secret surf spot on Sunday. The conditions were totally disorganized but I was hoping for the best as it had been a week since my last surf session.
Anyway, during this long lull, a girl I once knew appeared from underwater. This is pretty crazy because it has been about ten years since I have seen her and she was sans wetsuit, completely naked infact. Anyway, I struggled to remember her name but before I could say anything she told me that she had a secret for me and all I had to do was follow her deep down towards the ocean floor and she would tell me this secret. So I undid my leash, abandoned my board, took a deep breath and followed her. Underwater a green light reflected of her bare tanned skin. My heart sank at the prospect of holding her again. I tried to keep up with her shapely form as she disappeared into the darkening depths. On the ocean floor, I finally caught up with her and there was faint green light all around us. I was about to run out of breath as she took my hand and whispered the secret into my ear. She said, “All you have to do, to stay here with me is to breathe one lungful of water and then you will be able to survive underwater forever.” As my pulse raced and my blood began to beg me for oxygen, I so wanted to breathe that lungful of water but I just couldn’t do it. Instead, I raced desperately for the surface. On the surface I gasped in a huge painful breath of oxygen. I looked around me and there was no sign of anything for miles. There was nothing but flat calm ocean save my surfboard. Well, essentially I came home empty handed, drank lots of Stella Artois and here I am again.