04 June 2009


i'm thinking of taking up clowning. i miss clowns. real clowns. not this insane clown posse juggalo nonsense. like a parisian mime or something. roberto benigni. rome should pay this guy to just be.

actually i lie, i don't miss them as my home village of mumbles never had a sanctioned 'village clown.' but i certainly feel the absence of the clown in modern society.
i have this friend- his name is plain old brian from philadelphia. but he tells people he is BRIANO the clown or sometimes ZOMPEI. he communicates with my child like he is a wild beast. he works at new seasons on division and does karaoke every saturday at the bear's paw. he's in love with a girl i went to school with half way around the world. he always compliments me on how well i sing 'amazing grace' but i'll never do karaoke again. no way. clowning shouldn't be an ego trip in a dive bar. here is Zompei riding around portland. portland should pay this guy to just be.

of course mark gonzales is my favourite clown of all time. new york city should really pay this guy just to be.

i ran into gonz once during my one and only trip to ny. i remember walking around wondering to myself- 'where are the brooklyn banks' and i wonder if i'll see gonz. so i turn a corner and tell the family, 'i think something i need to see is up there and around the corner from this police station.' they replied, 'but we're tired and we want to sit down and drink coffee.' i said, 'one minute, i think i'm where i need to be.'
so i rounded the corner and there was gonz. and this is true man. i'm not just shitting you for the sake of this pointless ramble.
gonz was skating the brooklyn banks. he was trying this wallride to fakie on the pillars with an insanse body varial thrown in for good measure. really sit down and consider that for a minute. a body varial- mid wallride to fakie!?
i got my camera and said, 'i'm going to take a photo of the gonz.' but it felt weird. as i got closer, gonz saw me and i shied away.
so i ran back to the hotel, the whole length of manhattan and grabbed my rollerboard and skated all the way back to the brooklyn banks. i got my kickflip. skated with some kids and then hit the streets. a great day.
anyway, i'd like tillamook county to hire me to be a clown but i don't think i have the courage. i'll live in bay city surf either jetty in the morning and then clown in the afternoon. i'll wear all black with white shoes and speak french. i'm practicing talking to myself in public. and i'm getting good at looking silly also, which is not difficult when you are 34 and still insist on riding a skateboard. i'd probably get sent back to portland pretty quick.

a friend of mine recently congratulated me on this blog not becoming an endless string of youtube clips... sorry...