08 November 2009

Episodic Conflict V: Revenge Fantasies

Night after night

Revenge fantasies

Sweating beneath the blankets

White knuckles

Unable to let go

Just let me torture him for one night

Let me kidnap him

Lock him in the boot of the car

Drive him out to the Jebel* with a couple of friends

Let us sit around a fire

With him tied up

Let us spend some time in silence

Looking at him

Letting his mind create the immediate future before him

As I create it in my mind

Let me ride this fantasy out

Let it tear me apart inside

Let it tie my mind into knots

Let it send my heart racing

Bring on the rage

Bring on the migraines

Bring on the distraction

Bring on the cloud

The boil beneath the haze

You can’t control how others behave but you can control how you respond

Fuck You

I can’t move on until he’s writhing in pain

Sand in his drying blood

His mother and sister looking down on him

Urine patch staring up at them

Tears in his eyes

You won’t fuck around with me again

I carry his shattered bones in a tattered sack on my aching back

His torn skin stretched over my weary eyes

My clarity drowning in his blood


(*Arabic for mountain and a popular name for a hilly, rocky area of undeveloped desert in Bahrain. Aside from the sea, it was the only place we could escape civilization)